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Home > Archive > Chess forum > July 2005 > SAM SLOAN WINS!
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| Sammy Sloan IV 2005-07-21, 8:37 pm |
| It is with great honor, pride, and joy that I announce that my Dad, SAM
SLOAN, has won! He has more than double the votes of the next closest
competitor, and his victory is already assured.
I got this information from a reliable source that heard Beatriz arguing
violently with the CPA firm that is counting the votes. She wanted my Dad's
votes tossed out and disqualified. Apparently she threatened not to pay the
firm for their work. Hopefully they have not caved in to her wishes.
Congratulations to Dad! The Sam Sloan Era has begun!!
Sammy Sloan IV
Grapitas, Ethiopia
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| RSHaas@aol.com 2005-07-22, 12:32 am |
| That'll make things very interesting around old Chess HQ.
Old Haasie
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| RSHaas@aol.com 2005-07-22, 12:32 am |
| By what authority could Beatriz have the votes for Sam Sloan thrown
out?
Old Haasie
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| clarkbarr 2005-07-22, 12:32 am |
| Is Diebold doing the counting?
On 7/21/05 2:55 PM, in article dSUDe.18867$dz.16536@bignews4.bellsouth.net,
"Sammy Sloan IV" <sammysloan@ethiopia.com> wrote:
quote:
> It is with great honor, pride, and joy that I announce that my Dad, SAM
> SLOAN, has won! He has more than double the votes of the next closest
> competitor, and his victory is already assured.
>
> I got this information from a reliable source that heard Beatriz arguing
> violently with the CPA firm that is counting the votes. She wanted my Dad's
> votes tossed out and disqualified. Apparently she threatened not to pay the
> firm for their work. Hopefully they have not caved in to her wishes.
>
> Congratulations to Dad! The Sam Sloan Era has begun!!
>
> Sammy Sloan IV
> Grapitas, Ethiopia
>
>
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| parrthenon@cs.com 2005-07-22, 12:32 am |
| INSURGENTS SWEEPING ELECTION
The latest rumor is that the entire Success Team has been detained in a
London tube station, apparently on its way to Mongolia. Outer or Inner
remains unclear.
Randy Bauer was wearing a false beard, but the disguise was
quickly penetrated when a security officer noticed the strings wrapped
around his ears. Elizabeth Shaughnessy and Beatriz Marinello were
caught with suitcases filled with suspicious pills. Their claims that
the pills are a chess-performance-enhancer called -- now have you ever
heard anything so stupid! -- Natrol did not get them very far.
Security contacted the chairman of the FIDE drug committee,
Dr. Jana Bellin, who denied that any known substance can enhance chess
performance. The arrested have demanded that the pills be tested, but
security on the scene figures it is open and shut. And speaking of
Stephen Shutt, he has been flown in a canister to Gitmo, apparently for
attempting to introduce an ideology or religion or possibly
politico-strategy game with Middle Eastern associations to American
school children. Trust the lads down there to beat the truth out of
Mr. Shutt.
The escape to Chile appears to have been thwarted. Dr. Leroy
Dubeck is still at large somewhere in the Appalachians or possibly
Adirondacks. His wood craft will make him hard to track down.
"This Doctur Dubeck feller," said heavy-set local sheriff's
volunteer Neil Brennen, "could be hard to track down. We've had the
dogs out all morning, but the trail is dead. Give him a Bowie knife
and a piece of flint, and he'll be out there for years."
So ends, if the rumors are verified, the sad career of the
USCF Success Team.
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| Jason Repa 2005-07-22, 3:32 am |
| If this is true, I'm glad. I think Sam will do a good job. And best of all,
we will most certainly be hearing alot less from that dumbass sac of shit
Randy Bauer.
Jason Repa
"Sammy Sloan IV" <sammysloan@ethiopia.com> wrote in message
news:dSUDe.18867$dz.16536@bignews4.bellsouth.net...
quote:
> It is with great honor, pride, and joy that I announce that my Dad, SAM
> SLOAN, has won! He has more than double the votes of the next closest
> competitor, and his victory is already assured.
>
> I got this information from a reliable source that heard Beatriz arguing
> violently with the CPA firm that is counting the votes. She wanted my
> Dad's
> votes tossed out and disqualified. Apparently she threatened not to pay
> the
> firm for their work. Hopefully they have not caved in to her wishes.
>
> Congratulations to Dad! The Sam Sloan Era has begun!!
>
> Sammy Sloan IV
> Grapitas, Ethiopia
>
>
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